Traversing Transitions

I love this article from Relevant. How timely!

It's been three days since arriving with my mom in Toronto and nothing could have prepared me for these everyday experiences. Let's try to recap:

1. I love Craigslist
From finding a place to live in HK from Craigslist to getting ALL my bedroom furniture, kitchen ware and random items (1 year old from IKEA!) from a student leaving Toronto for $100 (GOD LOVES ME!)...I can write a testimonial for Craigslist. There's so much trust to sell/buy/rent online and I was so happy when I met my landlord and Daisy (the student I bought things from), I could have hugged them in person (I almost did, my mom ended up doing so).

2. You can't change the world until you've seen it
I read the Lonely Planet guide for Toronto and I've even visited Toronto a few times, but nothing is like three days of walking and driving in the big big city. Nothing beats being here, period from the bums on the street to the crazy university to the artsy lofts. Comparison of Chinatowns for my master's project? Homelessness?

3. I have the best friends
From setting up my Macbook to hanging out with me to packing my suitcases (literally refolding the clothes I folded already), I have the best friends a girl could ever have, here, there and everywhere. It's like God's little angels everywhere so that I always have a friend in any city. A shoulder to cry on, a car to ride in, someone to share my love for ramen. Friends=family. Where would I be without you?! Lost and hungry. With more places, it is easier and harder to say goodbye because you know that some goodbyes are goodbyes. I will always long for Coquitlam as home and I desire to go back (I wanted to cry the moment I stepped off the plane), and I'm looking forward to the day God will lead me back 'home'. For the moment, here's to living 22 in a big big city.

4. Family, family, family
I've spent so much time with my mom that I am almost jealous for the rest of my family. I don't think I've ever spent so much time with my mom (the 24/7) since being in her tummy. Talking to my mom about family and seeing my relatives in Toronto (some that I didn't know existed, some I never met until now at the cemetery) I am revisiting many stereotypes and misconceptions I've held since a child. Family is pretty messy, but fascinating and foundational. Some people wait until their mid life to explore their past, I'm glad I am doing this now as I am building the foundations for the rest of my life. I don't want to keep believing in the wrong things. Maybe I have grown up some as well, but I realize I have been too harsh on my parents as well. They did/do their best and I wouldn't be the same without their genes and upbringing. The 'family' triumph card I've held for some time, and it's time to let go, let go, let go. The uncles have helped me move and get everything ready...so much so that we even had time to go sightseeing! What a blessing and how unexpected - I was prepared to run around like a chicken with my head cut off, and here I am eating ramen and touring the city.

PS - Being an older cousin is also a new and strange experience for me because I am used to being the little sister.

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Toronto will be cold and it is rather ugly (no natural beauties to help it...eeks what will I do?!) and I don't know what this collaborative program with social planning and community development (what a mouthful!) will bring, but here I am: Be present where you are called.

This is Home

Mundy Park

What's the first thing you want to do after you have met with inspiration? Often, mine is to write whether it is after a good play, movie or book, conversion or sight. It begins as an urge, an urge that needs harnessing and one that keeps nagging at you if you ignore it too long. Sometimes when you ignore it too long, the words also become fuddled and one has to seek hard to find them. I have written little this summer compared to past partly because writing solidifies my reality and I wanted to be carried away instead on the wings, like Keats wrote, of poesy. But alas, laptop here we meet again.

For four summers of my short life, I have spent my August days away from Vancouver. I always say that August is the best month to be in the city because for a few short weeks, California's sunshine comes. When I stepped off my 21st and final flight from Asia at YVR, despite the rain, I breathed in the humidity-free air and I was incredible happy to be home. Did it really take me so long to come to this place of peace and contentment? A week into hitting up my favourite running spots, driving the scratched up car I learned to drive in, and eating with friends - I don't want to leave again. It's too good, too perfect for this aching heart and I have to smother the small still voice at the back of my mind that says, this can't last. Was it really 12 years (3 olympic games) ago that I avidly watched the games and would write about Donavan Bailey along with my astronomy books? From the movie theatre I saw built where I visited countless times during high school because friends worked there to the evergreen trees we planted at the back of the yard that only used to be knee high that now tower over my head. For all the times I have 'left', I have also finally let go off all the blame and resentment against my family for not being the 'perfect' family for a 'perfect' me. In the future, another battle will arise, but this time, it will be fighting for my family.


A younger Molly and I | Apple tree in backyard

My first car accident | SR2K


Family 2005


God hasn't allowed me to cry for more than two days though sometimes I still want to cry. Too much good sense, I say to myself. There's more worthy things in this world to cry for Anna, the other half replies. Yet, instead of the feelings of being unwanted, unloved and failure, He has bombarded me with affirmations of who He is and who I am in Him. Indescribable. Unexplainable.

I am so scared and I don't want to go but I know it is time. Time to pursue my destiny, without distractions and hindrance. Time to enjoy God, to enjoy simply being. Time to make the stories that I will tell my grandchildren. I wasn't able to attend church often this summer because of the travels, but I was able to attend a service in Hong Kong and one in Singapore. Both speakers spoke on Micah 6:8, which I had declared earlier this year to be my life verse. Lately, I've heard that often, that something big will happen in my life, in that way. I remember the first time in the summer of first year when I went to Iona Beach with Mark (still one of my favourite places in the world) I said I wanted to be the prime minister and a missionary. How young, how naive, how fresh. Four summers later at the jetty, I told Mati that I have no such dreams anymore. A husband would be nice. I'm not sure all things are done by our own choosing. The phone call on Sunday shocked and devastated my heart, but maybe sometimes pain is the final notice.


Iona Beach

20 months. One cold city. Toronto, what do you have in store for me? More than I can imagine for myself? God you have allowed this door to open, please walk with me.

As always, there is a Switchfoot song for every and any occasion and this is no exception.

This is Home - Switchfoot

I’ve got my memories
Always inside of me
But I can’t go back
Back to how it was

I believe now
I’ve come too far
No I can’t go back
Back to how it was

Created for a place
I’ve never known

This is home
Now I’m finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I’ve been searching
For a place of my own
Now I’ve found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home

Belief over misery
I’ve seen the enemy
And I won’t go back
Back to how it was

And I got my heart
Set on
What happens next
I got my eyes wide
It’s not over yet
We are miracles
And we’re not alone
Yeah

This is home
Now I’m finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I’ve been searching
For a place of my own
Now I’ve found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home

And now after all
My searching
After all my questions
I’m gonna call it home
I got a brand new mindset
I can finally see
The sunset
I’m gonna call it home
Home

This is home
Now I’m finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I’ve been searching
For a place of my own
Now I’ve found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home

Now I know
Yeah, this is home

I’ve come too far
And I won’t go back
Yeah, this is home

Around SE Asia in 77 Days

I have a confession: although I encouraged the girls to journal, I am really not a great journaller myself. Instead of journaling faithfully every night (like Tiffany) about our journeys, I wrote sporadically. This is why I need Wikipedia now to help me decipher my photos. What I did manage to do however was write a poem of the unforgettable faces and places we met. I apologize for the length in advance but it rhymes!

To my BBCs and other friends =D











Bon Bon Cats
Meet the Bon Bon Cats, one by one
Together this summer on a journey
Smiles surround before we’re done

The world is her dance floor
From steps to jumps to flying
Dreams before her to explore
-Jenny

Adventure is her middle name
From the seas to the streets
Each day is never the same
-Yo

Prim and proper, and well-dressed
Yet such a fun loving girl
To find you’d be hard pressed
-Tiffany

Her eyes light up at the sight
Of exotic places, local food
Enjoying each given day and night
-Alvina

She has a plenty, pink and frilly
With her head often in clouds to
Bright but sometimes oh so silly
-Anna

Faces and Places









My birthplace and past I meet
A tale of two lives, two cities
Generations walk on separate streets
-Luk Yeung Sun Chuen, Tsuen Wan, Hong Kong

It’s the perfect place to be
For the consumer or capitalist
Modern, open and tax-free
-Hong Kong Special Administrative Region, China

An old man lies face down on the street
Banging a metal bowl on the ground
Bows of skin ties where knees used to meet
-Beggar, Fa Yuen Street, Hong Kong

A woman sits, her eyes on the road
Hoping for travelers to visit
How did she come to be, no one knows
-Vendors, Great Wall at Simatai, Beijing, China

A mother rocks a child in her arms
Deformity shadows the young boy
Can her tears protect him from harm?
-Mother and child, Summer Palace entrance, Beijing, China

A girl of twenty works the counter
Smiling at the freedom her work brings
Is there a chance of an encounter?
-Rachael, Wangfujing Hostel, Beijing, China

A fair-skinned American rests
At ease in a hip hutong café
Is integration the next big test?
-Man, café in a hutong, Beijing, China

A lone businessman waits in line
Blue blazer and glasses dress the part
Is he digging the next big gold mine?
-Business, airport terminal train, Beijing, China

Thousand stories trapped in baked clay
From a search for life’s elixir
The secret world now exposed by day
-Terracotta Warriors, Xi’an, China

Sweet osthmanthus your beauty shines
Adorning the simple grey mountains
My hand traces your graceful outlines
-Li River, Guilin, China

A taxi driver flashes a smile
Says ‘one legacy, one destiny’
As he drives along another mile
-Driver from Impiana Hotel, Kuala Lampur, Malaysia

A sun weathered man gestures
Pointing between my bag, bus and boat
Smiles as he lifts without pressure
-Man, Taman Negara, Malaysia

Marketing water in Asia by day
The start of a young entrepreneur
Never too serious to go play
-John, Kuala Lampur, Malaysia

A gentleman of twenty-three
Tells us of the city miracle
Tours us along the city’s clean streets
-Jason, Singapore

A prince’s fancy on an island
A politician’s drive to open
Singapura: in full command
-National Museum of Singapore

“Pretty” says the woman on the beach
trinkets of beads spill over her head
to haggle and bargain she does teach
-Vendor, Kuta Beach, Bali, Indonesia

A flower tucked behind the ear
He introduces himself with poise
Chivalry wins hearts far and near
-Manager of Novotel, Bali, Indonesia

Laughter rings as the girls walk
“Chanti chanti” calls out the street
Lively in step and full of sweet talk
-Random streets, Bali, Indonesia

The shy server breaks into dance
Hands me a rose made of straws
Sweet encounter given by chance
-Thai boy in red aboard the Seacanoe, Phuket, Thailand

His free afternoon gave a first time
To see life underwater on fins
All for a smile and beer for a dime
-Ti tour guide on an afternoon off, Koh Phi Phi, Thailand

Diver from Dubai sets up a shop
Underworld wonders his passion
Teaching students to find their way up top
-Master diver, Phuket, Thailand

On the island he finds his niche
Away from busy Bangkok he came
Leading tours out at sea and the beach
-Guide and survivor of the tsunami, Koh Phi Phi, Thailand

Our ex-boxing, cobra-killing guide
Whom we fondly call ranger Joe
Leads us through with rapids on the side
-“Joe”, Lahu village two hours by truck from Chiang Mai, Thailand

The shy smile says “ten baht”
Raised with elephants not Dumbo
Over her my mind and heart fought
-Girl, Lahu village two hours by truck from Chiang Mai, Thailand

Traveling couple from Allemande
Laughs over American television
The powers of borders beyond
-Tom and Kristina who drive 10 minutes to Switzerland to buy good chocolate, Chiang Mai, Thailand

Playful ears flap mosquitoes
As he meanders along the path
Passengers on his back he tows
-Asian elephants, Chiang Mai, Thailand

Waters of green and aqua blue
The full moon illuminates the night
Whose eyes feast on Koh Samui
-Chaweng beach, Koh Samui, Thailand

Splashes of rainbow of different shape
Beckons me to this simple cart of fruit
Colours the dull gray landscape
-Lady vendor, Soi Sukhumvit 38, Bangkok, Thailand

Smooth skinned and bright eyed
English speaking student of finance
Waiters at night on the side
-Waitor, Pub Street, Siem Reap, Cambodia

Black, white and orange fly
Over the unmarked grave sites
Where yesterday’s forgotten lie
-Butterflies, Choung Ek Killing Field, Phnom Penh, Cambodia

You aim to main and not kill
Marks of your work litter the streets
Can’t move, I am standing still
-Children of landmines outside tourist spots, Phnom Penh, Cambodia

Soft songs sung before the towers
As flocks of visitors stroll
Towards the five lotus flowers
-Mother and children outside the entrance of Angkor Wat, Siem Reap, Cambodia

Helmets fly full of flare
Weaving through wheels and motors
Honk and cross if you dare
-Crossing the streets of Hanoi, Vietnam

Rows and rows we walk by
Full of cheap goods for export
Prices make you say ‘my oh my’
-Markets with garment factory goods, Russian Market, Phnom Penh and Saigon Square, Saigon, Vietnam

How high, deep and wide
Precious packages on bikes
Carried by hand or roughly tied
-Scooters, Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam

Did my textbooks tell me all?
I don’t know the American War
But these survivors to me call
-Hanoi Hilton, Hanoi, Vietnam and Cu Chi tunnels, Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam

Public Sidewalks

I remember reading in "The Life and Death of Great American Cities" by Jane Jacobs that public sidewalks are essential to a thriving community. This my friends, Hanoi has in abundance. There is no "sidewalk" to walk on here, it is either a parking spot for motorbikes or a hangout for locals eating pho and drinking sweets. In order for one to walk down the street, one has to weave between the road and the "sidewalk" all the while lifting one's head up occassionally to not get hit by a bike. I miss public sidewalks in Canada! I also remember the noise from the traffic on the streets of Manhattan on top of the Empire State building, I couldn't believe the honks from the taxis travelled so far up! Hanoi definitely beats New York in terms of honking. Usually I sleep through everything, but even I woke up last night to the sounds from the streets at ungodly hours. The constant honking has a way of unnerving me, and coupled with the extreme humidity.

On the otherhand, I am happy to be back on paved roads although I enjoyed the dirt roads in Cambodia. The drive out to Ha Long Bay today was scenic, with rice paddies dotting along the sides of the road, with a growing city in the background. It's just like something from a picture book I tell you. It was also super cool when I suddently remembered that the "incident" at the Gulf of Tonkin that triggered the American War (or Vietnam War, depending which side you are on)...and the tour guide told us that we are there (Ha Long Bay is in the Gulf!). Super super cool and yay for history class in first year.

Interestingly we noticed today that we have not seen a McDonald's or a Starbucks here or in Cambodia, as Tiff says, "where there is Starbucks, there is civilization"...LOL. We had French cuisine for dinner tonight, the most expensive meal for this lag of the trip for sure, and it was good though I must say I am unused to the mashed potatoes and the heavy beef stew after two months of an Asian diet (come on, even the sphagetti bolognaise that I've had here is Asian-y).

A few more days...!

If it weren't for the butterflies over the mounds and the sounds of laughter from the children from the school down the road, I don't know how well I could have stomached the Killing Fields. Reading and even watching documentaries couldn't prepare you for the sight of the pagoda of skulls and the bones and fragments of cloth on the ground, and the flocks of maimed children (three words on my mind: landmines, kids, exhorters) on the streets in front of tourist attractions. Nonetheless, Cambodia is a vibrant country. Having chats with our local tour guides and vendors, especially ones my age, there is a desire and a persistence in this beautiful people to learn and to build their country. Yesterday in the night market in Siem Reap, I noticed that the boy vendor had the same French cahier that I used before in French class so I struck up a conversation. He knew that Canada was bilingual and asked which part of English Canada I was from. Today as we were traveling to Angkor Wat Archeological Park, there were campaign trucks all over the streets for election day this Sunday. Our tour guide was telling us how the young people today learn about democracy. You can't imagine how happy I was to hear that, that the people here want it and are interested. Can you believe our tour guide worked for the UN as a translator for Cambodia''s first elections in 1993? A large part of me is still incredibly saddened by the events of the last thirty years in this country (no one cared!), but looking at the impressive sandstone, still standing wats...reminds me that the Khmer people also had a magnificent past. They had a massive canal system established so early! What happened in the 20th century...And these sculptures that still stand today, I wonder what we will leave behind 1000 years from now, definitely not IKEA furniture. LOL There is nothing like walking through 1000 year old ruins...

On a lighter note, I enjoy Cambodian food much more...because it isn't spicy! Yes I can finally eat curry and I love noodle soup which is everywhere.

We also visited a local NGO the other day in Phnom Penh where kids, many orphans learn dance and performance. I was thinking to myself the whole time...can I do front line development work? Much more appreciation to aid workers and missionaries.

So we did the most dangerous thing on this trip thus far yesterday...we rented 3 motorbikes and went biking around Koh Samui. Seeing that we were done with water sports and had our fair share of lounging, what better way to see the island than weave through traffic like locals? Having learned how to bike a few short years ago and not even having enough guts to go cycling on the street (I always stick to bike paths LOL...oh Lydia...!)...I wasn't driving. Instead I put my life into Tiffany's hands and it went reasonably well. In order to ease both of our tensions, I would talk to Tiffany during our cycle tour. "It's okay Tiffany, the cars and bikes will go around us...slow and steady..." I think it was more for my benefit as well talking it out. Even though we didn't go past 40 km/h it sure felt faster on a bike and I couldn't help but think at every turn...oh man, the sun scorched pavement will hurt on my bare arms and legs. No accidents though and it was cool, though I think I got motion sickness afterwards...that or I was REALLY nervous so that after I got off the bike, I felt pretty nauseous. The only down part of the day was when I tried to bike on a little dirt road. I did manage to succeed for a total of 10 seconds before I fell off and the bike on top of my leg, where it left a very nasty bruise. So...that was $40 Canadian dollars of damage for that little adventure...sigh. At least things including accidents are cheaper in Thailand than Canada. It's like when I was learning to bike, the bike always fell on top of my leg because I would be too heavy handed and try to take off too fast, lose my balanace and blah. Maybe it says as much about my fiery character as it does about my biking skills. Nonetheless, despite the scorching mid-day heat and the sudden torrential downpour, Koh Samiu was so gorgeous as we biked along the beach road...Alvina and Yo faired very well though as our other two drivers. I am sure all the other locals were laughing at our helmets and our turns. Only tourists wear helmets.

We went wave catching the day before on Chewang beach and it was amazing. The tide varies quite a bit but we picked a good day as we would float on our backs or on the floating device (like those plastic blow up futon things) back and forth until we got washed ashore. There is nothing like floating in the ocean and I did again attempt to swim. Seriously though, I don't like the taste of salt water or the stinging feeling on my skin against my insect bites. The clear waters are amazing as usual, and the aqua greens to sigh for - I don't know the next time I would be able to go on a tropical vacation...maybe my honeymoon.

I have been watching more television than I have for years during this trip - MTV, the news, movies, you name it. I feel so out with popular culture and even current events as I would rather read a newspaper than watch the news. It is strangely addicting and I don't know what I would do when I come home. To tv or not to tv? LOL.

Reality begins to hit again as I continue to ponder about housing choices in Toronto. To wait for residence or take another offer with roommies? We watched a few documentary like movies the past few nights, on about (In my country) the end of apartheid in South Africa...and I can't beleive we are going to the Killing Fields in Cambodia! Stepping into real history (and present) still baffles my mind as we visited places that were severely hit by the tsunami, WWII memorial sites of the battle of the Pacific (we never focus much on the Pacific war in our studies in Canada), and the miracle and bust of the Asian Tiger economies. I am lost in amazement sometimes and at other times, I want to completely turn off my brain and just be normal for once like other carefree 22 year olds. More and more I realize that my conception of "development" work (as well as missionary work) is much different in reality than the glamour that I have envisioned in my mind and I doubt my ability to do it. I finished "The Shack" the other day, and it was the timely reminder that yeah...hey, Anna it won't be you...but Him. Good book. Much needed and appreciated God. Thank you.

With about three weeks left in this trip, I want to bask in the present and try best as I can, to stop my mind from spinning into the unknown, the future. In the book, "God" was saying how often we spend the most time in the future, and in a future we imagine that is often without God. How true that is when I think of how I will prepare for graduate school, with little room for God to do his every miracles. So here's to that and so my house finding journey continues.

I miss home, I really do and I really want to pick up a stray cat but my mind keeps saying to me...rabies! The girls are great though, and I am so thankful for this summer. I was telling Jenny and Tiffany how this is the longest time I've hung out with just girls!

Someone's watching over me...

A sunset cruise with island exploring and snorkelling in Koh Phi Phi sounds like a wonderful idea...until the boat stops in the middle of the ocean by random limestone islands and everyone jumps out into the water. Well, that is if you are like me and can't really swim. I don't know how I didn't think about how I would be able to snorkel but the idea really didn't cross my mind. Thus, when a Thai boy (a guide but on his off afternoon) offered to teach me how to snorkel for a can of beer on the boat, I took him up on the offer. I didn't die and the one hour was amazing. I saw this sign that said something like "You think you're a traveller? 70% of the earth is water" and my tiny glimpse of the underwater life was unbelievable, the coral and bright fish, even in the little that I saw, blew my mind and somehow I naturally breathed out of my mouth. A few gulps of salt water and waves tossing me about, with Ti's help, I survived and like I was telling Tiff, somebody really is watching over me...

The next stop was Maya Bay, where the movie "The Beach" was filmed. I think all good things in life must come after a difficult and risky journey because in order to get to the beach, we had to jump out of the boat, swim to this random little hole in the island, while waves pound you against the slippery rocks. Ti literally dragged me along in my life jacket, and I never thought I would make it...so the next time I think something is difficult, I will think about the waters and the amazing white sand at the beach. Seriously, the most breathtaking beach in my life.

A night in a bamboo hut and an elephant ride in Chiang Mai, Thailand has been exciting and it is a wonder how the Thai people do it, living it up like it is everyday while I pray everytime that we will be safe.